I miss her, genuinely. She was so funny, talented, quirky, etc. I genuinely felt a connection to her. I'll try not to be obsessive because I don't want to look like a weird-ass, but I had planned to have a life with her... and we kinda just, took it away from each other. It pained me to say what I said about her, and it pained me what she said about me too, but someone had to do it. If I could have the idea of her back, I would, but not the person she is. I may meet someone similar to her and not her exactly down to a T, and that's okay!

Look, it's okay to still be fond of the memories you may have had with someone, but it's generally not a good idea to reconnect with them; even if you both really miss each other. If you're out there, wherever you are; while I want nothing to do with you anymore, I wish things didn't end out like this, I too didn't want to end things on a bad note... it may be too late, but god the pain is unbearable.

I miss you dearly, but we're better off without each other, I've come to accept this harsh truth.

A hypocrite is someone who criticizes you for the stuff you do despite doing or defending similar or worse shit. For example imagine someone is actively criticizing you for eating candy, you then point out that they eat licorice* (not liquid LMAO) all the time and they say "well that's different".

Some people also may be violent in their response. Imagine you accidentally forget to knock while you opened your roommate's door, nothing happened but they could have been changing. Your roommate doesn't exactly have the best history of knocking on doors, but they yell at you to knock on doors. You then bring up how they don't exactly have a good history of knocking on doors, to which they respond by to evict you.

Sometimes it may be you that be the hypocrite Say someone in your house doesn't vote and you get mad at them criticize them for it, butt then they bring up the fact that you don't vote and then you get angry. You're the hypocrite becaise you're actively criticizing someone for their beliefs despite you having those same ones.

Or say that you hate cars despite the fact that you keep asking people for a ride. Is it true that you hate cars or you're just lazy? It's fine if you don't like cars and prefer to travel by bike instead, it's also fine if you don't have a car and you need help with stuff due to cicrcumstances, I think you look like a major asshat if you do that though.

But what isn't hypocrisy? Imagine you're fighting for someone's rights, or you're calling someone out for something despicable they did. Someone then brings up something terrible you did in the past, which you admit fault to and regret doing, but it's not hypocrisy as long as you're still not doing what you're doing in the past. That just means you've changed.

But if they're knowingly doing something or defending someone who's done an equal or worse crime while calling you out, then that makes them the hypocrite, not you. Because they're willing to let the other person get off scott free because the other person is their friend, or they're trying to do it for clout.

And that, my good friend, is hypocrisy. While I may believe in second chances, some people have just proven themselves unworthy of one, and trust me when I say that I've really tried forgiving people that aren't worthy of forgiveness.

This does not even deserve a Captain's Log introduction... because this is dead serious!

It's come to my attention that two of my followers were going into someone else's comments of a person I've previously had beef with, about another person I've also previously had beef with saying things like "this didn't age well" or something like that. The reason I found this out was because one of them told me they did it. The rage I felt knowing this was happening with the presumption they were doing this in my name really put a sour taste in my mouth.

I just want to put it out here that regardless of what someone's done, you do NOT get to just blurt out shit like "you poor soul" or "oh god why" or ANYTHING of the same manner to random folk who aren't involved. Especially if you're claiming to do it in the name of someone else. It not only makes THEM look bad, but YOU TOO. Think before you speak. I should not have to say anything like this, it should be common fucking sense; but that's too much to ask for I guess.

To anyone in my audience, thank you for reading this, please do take note of this post and do not do shit like this. To the boys who were going around in the comments of that person's post, thank you for doing the right thing and apologizing, but never pull stunts like this AGAIN. To anyone who was affected by these comments, I am sorry for the turmoil this brought, and I hope you don't look at me negatively because of these two goobers.

That should be enough, moral of the story, the strongest way you can say something is to be silent about it.

This is gonna sound really gh3y and emo but over the past 7-10 years, I've found that my life has been becoming increasingly depressing, on top of everything feeling like crap and I've just been stripped of my emotions. Nothing feels fun anymore. I feel like smiling, but in sort of a fake smile kind of way. You know how chimpanzees "smile" by baring their teeth, but instead of it being out of happiness it's out of fear? Well I kinda feel that way but it's more stress than fear.

Since I actually believe in second chances for people, I'm going to unblock some users. I wish you all the best in life and I love everyone here.

i gotta go to work

my birthday is tmrw (or 1 hour and 3 minutes as of posting this), and i'm PUMPED!! i'll be considered more of an adult now (with less being treated like a child hopefully), i'll be old enough to drink... and would have been old enough to have sex, go to war, rent a car, vote, etc. for 3 years so far; yet i'm only now gaining the ability to drink alcohol? oh well, i don't give a shit about that anyways, it's just unfortunate that my birthday is the day after Trump is officially sworn in. ;w;

oh well, i hope this year can be a generally good one for me unlike the 8 or so years.

ever since last year, i feel like people on this site have secretly hated me (with some people i do know hate me), and i don't know why. i'm glad i've got people who genuinely enjoy my presence, but i just feel overwhelmed by the fact that recent happenings have just... made me feel like everyone is secretly in on one big joke and that i'm the punchline, and that they're ready to troll me.

These past 4-5 years have been way too exhausting for me, maybe even further than that. I've been getting into drama with horrible people left and right, and I feel miserable. I've always felt I couldn't do anything about it, while there was nothing I could really do. I've tried to talk to some people privately to resolve shit with them in a civilized manner, and they'd refuse and start acting like trolls, I hate it so much.

Not this year, for I've made it my resolution to just... avoid the drama, avoid the trolls, avoid the toxicity, etc. I don't want to deal with this shit anymore, and I don't have to. I'm so tired of these drama kings/queens instigating shit, and this year it will stop. It doesn't help Trump is back in power, and I'll likely see more trolls appear because of it... but I'll deal with them. This will be my year.

I thought you said you wanted nothing to do with me, I thought you said you were afraid of me, I thought you wanted me to get the fuck out of your life. Stop looking at my shit.